Australian BSN student Caitlin McKenzie

[00:00] Michelle: I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with Australian BSN student Caitlin McKenzie. First of all, she's a pleasure to listen to. Between her accent and her humor, I could listen for hours. But the stories of her challenges, her triumphs, and her dreams for the future are really what captivated me, and I'm sure they will you as well. She's in her last few months as a nursing student and went from absolutely hating school as a young person to absolutely loving it as a mature learner. She's well aware of the challenges our profession faces, like staffing issues and burnout. But she's hopeful for nursing's future, balancing the demands of school, work, and children as a single parent, support from friends and family is crucial. And I can just hear the pride as Caitlin talks about being an indigenous Australian single mom and the first child to graduate from University in her family. Honestly, I can see the smile on her face and feel the pride in her heart as she accepts that diploma in a few short months. In the five-minute snippet,  Caitlin, your kids ARE fantastic! Here is Caitlin McKenzie.  Well, hello, Caitlin. Welcome.
[01:36] Caitlin: Thanks for having me.
[01:39] Michelle: Yes. I usually say good morning and it's sort of morning where you are, but it's afternoon where I am.
[01:47] Caitlin: Yes.
[01:48] Michelle: So I'm just going to say welcome. We've had a little trouble, totally 100% on my part getting together because of the time difference. You are in Tamworth, New South Wales, Australia and I'm here in California. So we finally made it work and we're together. And I'm glad because you are coming on today as a student nurse, and I really want to get your perspective on what it's like to be a student nurse, some of the challenges that you face, some of the things that you might change, and just what is in store for your future. When you get that graduation cap and pin on that says you're a nurse. So, are you ready to get started?
[02:40] Caitlin: Absolutely. Very excited.
[02:42] Michelle: All right, how did you decide to become a nurse?
[02:47] Caitlin: My mum's a nurse. She's now deputy director of nursing and midwifery in our local hospital. But I can remember from a very young age, she used to manage the burns unit and as a single parent she took me up there before school. Some mornings, I would talk to the patients, I would help her make hospital beds. I'd just chill out on the beds and watch TV and I just loved everything about it. I think I've always had that personality that's just drawn to people in need and I even find it in some of my relationships. Sadly, I think I need to help people. So, yeah, it's just always been a passion of mine. I've taken a very long route to get here, but I am so passionate that I live and breathe it really.
[03:43] Michelle: Well. I love your story, with your mom being a nurse. Definitely. I could see the pull there. And she modeled a behavior and a philosophy that you kind of just fell in love with. And I love to hear the different reasons that people go into nursing because it's so varied. And I think sometimes when we think of nurses, oh, you must have wanted to be a nurse from the time you were a little girl or a little boy, and that's just not true for so many people in your case. You definitely had that experience from a young age, and you were familiar with it, and definitely don't be too hard on yourself for having that nursing personality of wanting to help people. I think that's something that it's a thread that runs through our profession, and we have to just forgive ourselves for things like that. You definitely had a much different experience with your mom. When I was a nurse, it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Do you have something similar to that in Australia?
[05:06] Caitlin: No, definitely not for the hospital.
[05:09] Michelle: Okay. Really?
[05:10] Caitlin: Do that anywhere here? But I see it in the movies.
[05:14] Michelle: Yeah. And they don't do it anymore here either. That was something that was really popular, like, in the 1990s, and so I brought her to work, and she hadn't said that she wanted to be a nurse, but I just thought it would be neat for her to see what I do, and it was a total disaster. So at the end of the day, she said, well, I know what I don't want to do.
[05:43] Caitlin: My daughter's begging me always. She's four. She always wants to come to my work. But me being in the ICU especially, it's not an appropriate thing to do.
[05:57] Michelle: Right.
[05:57] Caitlin: But I wish I could show her what I do because she would like, I think she loves playing doctor with my stethoscope, and yeah, I think she wants to be a nurse. She's very caring.
[06:10] Michelle: Well, she's going to see what you do, and she's going to hear about what you do, and it sounds like this is something that runs in your family, and she might grow up to want to be a nurse. So that's something to wait and see, right?
[06:29] Caitlin: Yeah, absolutely.
[06:31] Michelle: So you talked about being in the ICU and your position there. You're an assistant in nursing, and I was thinking that might be similar to what we have here in the States, which is like, a certified nurse's aide, is that correct?
[06:48] Caitlin: Yeah, I believe it's the same. So I help with bed washes or showers their ADLs, so maybe feeding them if they can't feed themselves, and just helping the nurses with their tasks that aren't medication based.
[07:14] Michelle: Okay. Did you have that position before you got into the nursing program, or is that something that you're doing concurrently?
[07:24] Caitlin: No, I had that position before. So I did my assistant in nursing course and worked at an aged care dementia unit for a year and then I moved over to the acute side of the hospital because I knew that was the route that I wanted. As much as I love older people and I really had a soft spot for them, I knew I wasn't going to pick up the skills I needed in a nursing home because they don't have the acute side, thankfully. So I did move over, but I did gain a lot of skills from that nursing home year.
[08:04] Michelle: So you work with nurses every day at your job and what qualities in those nurses do you appreciate?
[08:15] Caitlin: Their willingness to teach. Really, first and foremost, because I am learning and just their ability to make me feel I'm still on the same level as them. Even though that I don't have my degree yet and I'm not medication certified and I can't do a lot of things that they do and just their friendliness, probably the way they really care about their patients in trying to see them progress.
[08:44] Michelle: Do you see any signs of compassion fatigue or burnout in your nurses there in the ICU?
[08:57] Caitlin: Not really, I don't think I've really like I've got a really good team around me. I don't think I've seen that. I have seen it on the wards. If I do an extra shift on the wards of the general wards, you can see that and I don't like it, but I feel I can understand where they're coming from. Ten patients per day, generally on their own, like the ratios, are pretty bad at the moment.
[09:28] Michelle: Got it. Yeah, I was going to say what do you think is contributing to that? And definitely, the high ratios would cause that.
[09:40] Caitlin: Yeah, so short staff, like we've got a lot of agency nurses in, so we've even got a whole bunch from New Zealand at the moment to help with our short staffing. We had a lot of nurses leave because they didn't want to do the COVID vaccinations and then just also nurses moving maybe into the city. So we're 5 hours from Sydney, so we are based as a regional hospital, so it's not a big town. So there's those factors that have sort of come into it and it's been a long time so unfortunately the ratios do go up. And being a regional hospital, we get transfers in from smaller towns, which means we get bed blocked quite a lot. So there's really no downtime with those beds. It's one in, one out.
[10:32] Michelle: I can't believe how many parallels there are to what we're experiencing here in the US with what you're experiencing, it seems like it's global. We have quite a challenge before us to fix this problem.
[10:53] Caitlin: Yeah. And I think as students we shouldn't be bubble wrapped that, oh, it'll be great once you go in. There are going to be those tough times and I'm fully aware that sometimes I will be stretched trying to help cover shifts, but I have learnt you can say no. Yes, you might feel a bit bad, but no, I cannot stretch myself anymore. No, I need to do take some time off for my mental health and I think that I come back as a better nurse. And I've just learnt that really as being a mum to two little kids on my own is mum needs an hour at the gym herself. Mum will come back happier.
[11:39] Michelle: Absolutely. That self care is so important and I'm so happy that you personally and maybe your generation is learning that before they become very entrenched in the profession. Because I think that's and by saying learning that, it's setting boundaries. And I think that's something that definitely I'll say a lot of nurses in the 80s when I graduated, we really didn't have that ability or that I don't know what the word is, but that was something that we just learned pretty recently and there's been a lot of press on self care and setting boundaries and taking care of yourself to prevent burning out and compassion fatigue. And so it sounds like the word is getting out and I'm happy to hear that because that was one of my questions for you, is that obviously you work in a hospital and you have to see the state that nursing is in right now and there's probably things that you don't like about it. And it sounds like you're already preparing yourself for what you're going to need to do as a new nurse to kind of protect yourself.
[13:15] Caitlin: Yeah, I have been lucky because we do have new graduates come through and start the transition program in ICU. It's called grow your own. And we're really just trying to capture those nurses that have really shown a lot to ICU through their new Grad rotations. They come back and they start our program. Six months on the HDU side and then six months on the ICU side. And they've been very instrumental in telling me, make sure you look after yourself, don't get burnt out just to pick up an extra shift because you feel like you should. And they've sort of really helped him basically mentor me through my last year of nursing school. So they've definitely helped me get prepared without scaring me away or saying, don't do it. They're just setting realistic boundaries, saying, make sure you only do what you're capable of and don't stretch yourself, because the family does come first and it does need to.
[14:22] Michelle: Yes. And I'm so happy to hear you say that those senior nurses are mentoring you in that way. That just it really fills me with joy, because we can as you know, I before I retired, I you know, I had 36 years under my belt. And so as a senior nurse, I was talking to my younger colleagues, and I think I was experiencing some burnout, and I wasn't giving them the same messages that your mentors are giving you. So I just really appreciate that and I think that's really wonderful.
[15:10] Caitlin: Yeah.
[15:12] Michelle: So let's talk about the process for getting into nursing school. What is that process, and did you have any difficulty with that?
[15:26] Caitlin: If you're in high school, you can finish your we call HSC in New South Wales, which is Higher School Certificate, and you gain a score off your exams and they can accept you into uni based on your score. So they'll set a score and say, right, nursing, you need to have points above 76, for example. So if you make that, then they can give you early entry so that you already know before you finish school that you're going to go into uni, or you can apply at the end and hope for the acceptance, and then you just start your graduation. So then those nurses are quite young when they come through my way, though, that I ended up going about it. I wasn't very much into school. I didn't really have any passion for it. I finished school, I ended up going to England for six months to nanny and travel, and I think that did the best thing for me because it really gave me that independence. Then I moved to Brisbane and I met my kid's dad, had a couple of kids and was just working sort of odd jobs and then managing a call center. And then I moved back when we ended our relationship and I applied for my assistant in nursing via an online college. And that was because I had self doubt about not getting into university, because I felt that for us, university is this big thing that you have to be super smart to get into. So that gave me some self doubt. So I applied for the assistant in Nursing and completed that, and that's when I started working at my age care, once I had done a placement there. So I then applied for university as a mature age student, which means I had to sit a math and English test. Once you were scored and you got above their below minimum standard, you could be accepted into your choice of the program, which is the Bachelor of Nursing. And that's where we are today. Yeah, three years for Bachelor of Nursing in Australia, for my university and most universities.
[17:54] Michelle: Well, that's wonderful. I like the three year program because here those programs are four years. If you go to a university or a state college, some private colleges are three year. So you actually went to nursing school as an adult learner. How was that experience?
[18:24] Caitlin: I think I'm grateful for it and I think if I had gone fresh out of university, I don't think I would have felt the, oh, if I fail, I fail, I'll just do it again next year. Whereas as a mature age student, I don't really have that option. I really have to buckle down, I have to focus and I have to give it all my all and I think that's where the life experiences comes in, that you do it once and you do it right, because otherwise that is just eating away at your time that you're getting to get into that profession. And I'm really excited to get into it. I can't wait to really have my own patience and discover my own sort of style of nursing and just learn so much more because at the moment, some of the learning opportunities aren't there for me because I'm not a registered nurse and I feel like so I need to wait for those. But I am very much grateful for the opportunity to do mature age students and there is so many mature age students in my university and recently on one of my intensives that we go on to so our clinical days. There were so many other mums there as well, that it just really didn't make you feel out of place for being mature age.
[19:48] Michelle: Yeah. So you're with like minded people and a lot of them have children and you talk about your kids and your life and your dreams and all that, it.
[20:03] Caitlin: Just makes you feel you haven't wasted your life, you've actually just come in with more experience into this.
[20:10] Michelle: Exactly. And with the maturity of having just more life experience, I would think that things go a little bit smoother and you don't have so much anxiety as just coming right out of school and doing something like that. Yeah, well, you talk about your children and so how do you balance being a student and an employee and a mom? Where do you find time to study?
[20:41] Caitlin: So I'm lucky that I have very supportive family, so I'm able to work only part time and therefore I study on the days that my children are at school and sometimes work bit later at night as well. Study it later at night as well. So the kids have been very understanding and they know it's my last year and they're very looking forward to having me around for more time.
[21:15] Michelle: Sure. How old are they?
[21:19] Caitlin: My son will be seven next week and my daughter will be five this year.
[21:25] Michelle: Yeah. So they can understand mom needs a few moments to do this lesson or this test and they can kind of occupy themselves.
[21:42] Caitlin: Yeah. My daughter likes to mimic, so she gets her own pen and paper and she does her own uni work next to me, she is a mini-me, down to her attitude. I just work with it and if that's working and she's going to sit there happily if it's ten minutes more, it's ten minutes more and then I'm off for them. But they have been very good and I really appreciate them understanding as such little kids. Sometimes they do just want me all to themselves, but they know that this is my dream, and, yeah, we'll get through it. And I think it shows them a very hard work ethic that can do things.
[22:32] Michelle: Yes, I think that's true. And when they see you achieve your dreams, work hard and achieve what you want to do, that just speaks volumes to them. So that's great. What's your schedule like for school?
[22:48] Caitlin: So everything for me is online except for our intensive, which is the clinical days. And that's four days, which I've recently done in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. And that's just where you have that real intense learning for four days on mannequins about different types of procedures or different types of lines that we have. And then we do placements. So it's about 480 hours, I believe it is, for placements over the three years that you have to attend a hospital or aged care or mental health facility, and the university organizes it with the hospital. And you go for two weeks, four weeks, and my last one will be eight weeks.
[23:40] Michelle: Okay.
[23:41] Caitlin: That's usually Monday to Friday.
[23:44] Michelle: Okay, so you're in a lab clinicals?
[23:48] Caitlin: The clinicals yeah, you're in a lab.
[23:50] Michelle: Okay.
[23:50] Caitlin: And then for the placements, you're in the hospital setting.
[23:54] Michelle: Oh, got it. Okay, so for your clinicals, how have you been received by the unit nurses?
[24:03] Caitlin: So I've been lucky because some of them do know me from working there. But I feel I'm very good in picking up on how someone's style of nursing may be. Like, if someone's very dominant, I'm a dominant person, but I'll just sort of I know to step back. Most nurses are really happy to have someone with them because it is an extra pair of hands, and really, any experience is good experience. And I don't think you can ever know everything about basic skills. So even if I'm just doing the basic skills for those days, I'm still learning. So most nurses are really happy to have someone with them. I don't think I've really ever had a nurse that I've never felt uncomfortable, but I know some of my other students have had placements where they have felt really uncomfortable, which does upset me because I think we're all in this together at the end of the day.
[25:06] Michelle: Yes, very much so. And I think that, unfortunately, is one of the downsides of our profession when we know as nurses that we all start out somewhere, because we did, and we quickly forget that it's important to be a mentor, it's important to be an example, it's important to be a teacher. And I have no tolerance for nurses that get an assignment and they have a student, and you just hear the that's just heartbreaking because, like I said, we all started somewhere and we need to keep that in mind. And you're the future, and we just have to foster that relationship more. So I'm happy to hear that. For most of your experience? It's been a positive one, yeah.
[26:17] Caitlin: I'm not someone who takes things personally, so I prepare myself, if I don't know that nurse, to have that reaction, so that I expect the worst, but don't get the worst, but also that's just their personality. I don't take it on as that I'm a burden, so I think that helps me as well. I'm like, I'm here to learn, I'm not here to worry about your feelings towards me.
[26:46] Michelle: I love that. I wish you were around when I was nursing, because I would have just loved to absorb some of that energy from you, because you're saying all the things that I wish I could have said back then. Well, for studying, do you have a particular study habit? Like do you use Flashcards or do you study in groups or how do you do that?
[27:13] Caitlin: So because it's online, uni, I am predominantly by myself. Flashcards have always been my thing. I've come to find apps that you can do that I can do it while I might be sitting waiting for the kids or I make them myself and take them to me with work and I'll just pull them out and on my break and go through them. And I just feel that repetition just really edges into your mind and you will get there eventually with it. Some things I think, oh, yeah, never going to learn that. I've picked it up a lot easier than I thought I would and it's just generally through repetition. So, yeah, flashcards are always my go to for anything.
[28:04] Michelle: Is your program online? Is it because of COVID Or is that just how it's set up?
[28:12] Caitlin: This university set up as online and on campus, so you had the option so that they were getting because they're in Darwin, based in Darwin, so they have very remote students in Darwin as well, but this way they were able to open it up to all of Australia and international students as well. Some universities were campus only and then moved to online during COVID But I've also found that they've gained more students because they're able to access online. And for me, I had to look for a university that offered online and that you didn't have to attend the campus because I don't have that flexibility with the kids and with work, because if I had to go to campus, I really wouldn't be able to work. So this one, they record their lectures. You can go to the live, but otherwise you can listen to their lectures afterwards. And really it comes down to you put in what you want to learn and get out of it what you need. So they don't really record your attendance because at the end of the day, your marks are going to show in your assessments.
[29:29] Michelle: That sounds like a great set up. When I went to nursing school initially for my associates, it was in the early 1980s, and of course, it was all in person. And then when I went back 25 years later for my bachelor's, it was one day a week we went to class and it was for 4 hours and then the rest was all online. And it was a wonderful set up, but it was mostly for adult learners. Yeah, that's a great set up. It gives you a lot of flexibility.
[30:05] Caitlin: Yeah. My mom, she did hospital training, so they were pretty much in the classroom, living on the hospital grounds.
[30:15] Michelle: Exactly.
[30:16] Caitlin: And then either one day a week or half a day, a few days, they'd be there fully washing all their patients, learning, as we do for those few weeks that we get to be on site.
[30:33] Michelle: Right. Yeah. Well, things have changed a lot and I think they have to and they're probably going to continue to change too. So you have professors that lecture, is that how it works with your online lectures?
[30:50] Caitlin: Yes. So they have one or two lectures. Someone might do the online ones, someone might do the campus ones, and then they have sort of like a little team that helps with questions and marking of the assessments.
[31:06] Michelle: Okay. What are some qualities that you admire in your professors?
[31:13] Caitlin: Their passion, just hands down, their passion for it. And just also their ability to be patient. Because we do have a lot of international students as well, and other students that are in Australia that English is their second language.
[31:35] Michelle: Okay.
[31:35] Caitlin: So just the patience to sort of not belittle them for maybe asking what we might think is a very simple question or a very common knowledge question and not putting them down for it, just casually answering it back. Yes, that's the way to do it. Because I really think that having English as a second language already puts them at a feeling of that they are seen as an international student and not some people don't think that they're smart, but I always think they know two languages. I know one they've already got a hand up on me.
[32:13] Michelle: Right.
[32:14] Caitlin: I think passion and their patience is just outstanding.
[32:19] Michelle: Have you had a favorite subject yet in school?
[32:26] Caitlin: Well, like, my dad's family is Aboriginal, so we did an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander health Unit and it just really allowed me to see what was out in the communities as to what programs there were for health-related issues and just really dive deep into some of the dialysis that would be going on. Usually, that's really a big thing with Aboriginal people their kidneys. A lot of them are on dialysis, but a lot of them don't get to go to the hospital because they can't travel. They don't want to be in a hospital setting. So it showed me the programs that are able to go to them. That's probably been my most favorite one, but otherwise the clinicals. I love the clinicals and just learning all the new how to do things. Really.
[33:27] Michelle: Have you come across either a clinical or a class yet that you just did not care for at all?
[33:37] Caitlin: I have and it's not really the I just think the way it was structured was not really beneficial. It was a global health one and it sort of really didn't go into health issues of the world. It really only zoned in on a couple and then you had to do assessments based on one. So I really only felt like I learned about one disease in that whole twelve weeks. So that just wasn't my favorite. I just don't think it was set up as well as it could have been because it really could have been an amazing unit.
[34:19] Michelle: Hearing you talk about that. When I went back for my bachelor's, my older brother, my oldest brother Chris, I interviewed him on this program and he's amazing. He has his doctorate of nursing practice and he was teaching at the private college that I went to and he taught health policy. I teased him because it was the driest, most boring class and I have loved everything up until then and he's my brother and he's teaching it and thank God he has a sense of humor because he did make some of it fun. And I know health policy is real and it guides so many different aspects of health care and it's necessary, but oh my gosh, it was so boring and I thought I would never get through that. So yeah, we learn what we like and we learn what we don't like. Right?
[35:30] Caitlin: Yeah. And I do think the lecturer really comes down to them about how it's presented and if you can make light of something that can be so stiff then yeah, you're going to get more engagement out of it.
[35:45] Michelle: Sure.
[35:46] Caitlin: Yes.
[35:47] Michelle: How much contact do you get with your classmates? Do you see them on a daily basis?
[35:56] Caitlin: No. Unless I have sort of become friends through chatting. So we have some Facebook chats for each unit and a Facebook group for the uni. And unless you sort of become friends with a few then you sort of really are on your own. So it really isn't for someone who doesn't have that motivation or can be unsupervised because you just wouldn't get anything done. You really have to have that motivation and that determination to be like right, I've got 3 hours today, I'm blocking it out for uni and this is what I'm going to get done. And I very much am strict on that in a way that it doesn't stress me out. But I do feel maybe I could have done more today. What did I do that I could have? Was I on my phone a little bit too much? So it sort of really comes down to that because otherwise unless I'm at the hospital setting with someone from the uni as well, I don't know anyone.
[36:56] Michelle: Okay. I think that would be so strange to go through school and, you know, other people are going, but you don't really get to have any contact with them. But you do chat with them, you said.
[37:11] Caitlin: Yeah. So in the lectures, we can chat with them, then we can take it offline and we could chat to them on Facebook or it depends how much you want to become friends with someone, really?
[37:21] Michelle: Okay.
[37:22] Caitlin: I'm not the biggest socialist person, so it doesn't worry me at all. Yeah, I think it's perfect if you're not a huge social butterfly. I think a social butterfly would struggle with being so alone as such.
[37:42] Michelle: Yeah. Well, I think sometimes classmates can be a big support. Definitely just for that, you can do this, or oh, man, this is hard, stuff like that. Do you guys have conversations like that? Like, oh, my God, how was that test?
[38:04] Caitlin: Yeah, so our Facebook chats have sort of helped with that. You don't feel completely alone.
[38:10] Michelle: Okay.
[38:11] Caitlin: And we do put in there, look, I actually did this or this and this and that might give someone an idea and might help their presentation because they hadn't thought about doing it that way. And I've got a couple of friends that are from there that I've really clicked with, and we chat outside those Facebook groups and see how each other's going and make sure we sort of check in on each other because we've both got families and lives and stuff. That takes a toll.
[38:42] Michelle: Yes, absolutely. And I feel like it's so important to have that support and to have friends just know what you're going through and you know what they're going through because you're all in the same boat together.
[39:00] Caitlin: Yes, that's it.
[39:03] Michelle: Have you ever had a patient refuse to have a student nurse care for them?
[39:10] Caitlin: Not me personally. I've even not been the student with that nurse, but I've gone in and asked the patient, look, I'm learning. Would you mind if I watch her do this procedure? And most of them are very open and saying, yes, that's no problem. You've all got to learn. But I've had a couple of girls say to me that in the mental health area, which I'm about to go into for a couple of weeks, they have not been so open for their counseling sessions. To have a student in there, which I could completely understand, that's a really big thing to open up to not only your counselor but to also have a student in their listening. So I'm sort of preparing myself to be knocked back in that situation. But in the acute clinical setting, I have never had that. But I would always respect patients' wishes if they didn't want me to.
[40:09] Michelle: Have you found, like, a particular specialty that really excited you, that you're like, oh, maybe I want to do that?
[40:19] Caitlin: Well, originally I wanted to do theater nursing purely because I love surgery and just watching anything to do with surgery, and this is just with starting the nursing, but then I got the opportunity to be an assistant in nursing in the ICU and that really opened up my eyes. They get the traumas in up from ED, which is our emergency department, so I've gone into that now. I want to do trauma, I want to do critical care nursing. Yes, they're very sick, but you get to see them progress a good amount of the time that they get discharged from ICU and back onto the wards or even home. So that's where I'm heading at the moment. I'd really love to then eventually move to emergency and gain some skills from there. So that's my sort of two, three year journey would be good. Amount of experience in ICU, move to emergency for a small period and hopefully then come back to ICU trauma nursing because that's really all we have in our regional area. I'd have to move to Sydney to look at the really big emergency trauma stuff.
[41:41] Michelle: Well, I think I definitely share your love of intensive care nursing. I did neonatal intensive care and I think I like it for the same reason. I love to see the really sick kids that come in and they're with us for a while and they get better and they go home. And the same with premature babies. They're very premature, 23, 24 weeks, and they're with us for four or five months and we really get to know the families so well. And then they grow and they go home and we hear back from them how well they're doing. The parents send Christmas cards and it's just so satisfying. And I really share that.
[42:34] Caitlin: And see, the other thing with theater nursing was I realized you don't get the bedside nursing opportunities that you get on the wards or in intensive care because basically once they've woken up and they're stable enough, you ship them back to the ward that they were on. And the same in emergency is sort of like saying if they need another set of observations, they've been here too long because obviously you should have admitted them or they should have been able to go home by now. So intensive care sort of seems to be a really good mix of the critical and the bedside nursing. So that's what's really exciting me about this opportunity.
[43:19] Michelle: Yes, that is a perfect union, I think. Have you ever failed a test and how did you handle it so recently?
[43:33] Caitlin: Last semester I failed an assignment and I thought, my gosh, I've never failed anything. And I thought so I read through the feedback and I used to be someone who would just jump very quickly and I wouldn't think about things first, I would just react. But I've learned to not. I've just learnt to sit, think about it, absorb it in, and then let's think about the next step. And I looked at the feedback and the marker had actually marked it wrong according to the way that the lecturer wanted it marked. So I simply just went back through the recordings and said where she had said how to do it, the assessment properly, and put it back in an email. And I said, I know it's not a ten out of ten, but I don't feel it's a foul mark. So they remarked it and I didn't fail it, but I thought but then I did fail a medication quiz where we had to get every single answer question wrong. And math has never been a big thing for me. I hate math. It's just so the thought of it gives me anxiety. And I think when you have people looking at you, you're like, oh, my God, I have to get this right now. But I've worked out once you have the formulas, you're fine. Formulas will get you everywhere. I had just literally put one little formula part wrong and that was it. But we had a second attempt. I did it. I took my time and got through it. So far, no failures across the board yet, fingers crossed. But I did definitely take that fail mark as a learning to sort of really sit and look at it and don't just react and say, oh, my God, this can't be true. Look at why they may have given me that mark. Thankfully, no. And I've surprised myself, to be honest. As I said before, I've never done well in school. I didn't like school. It just bored me because there was nothing that I was passionate about. But I have gotten really good scores in this unit, really, for this whole subject. So it's amazing to me to feel, yes, you can do this. And I've never set myself that I must get a high distinction. I just wanted to pass. At least that was my just pass the unit, as long as you're putting the work in. But I have gotten really good marks and I am just, again, thankful for my family support, but also my dedication that I make time instead of doing things outside of work or whatever. I take the time to study and get through it.
[46:27] Michelle: I think that's just such a distinct difference between a young learner and a more mature learner in how we process things. I remember going through school the first time and I was exactly like, you like, I was 18,19,20, when I went through school, so very young. And then when I went back for my bachelor's 25 years later, that A, it meant everything to me and I was like, I have to get an A. And I was never that person before. And going through those prerequisites for the program. The one that really gave me a lot of anxiety was statistics, and it was an online course, and I felt like I really needed to be in the classroom because it was so difficult. And I was having brain fog because I had just got done with chemo for five months for breast cancer. And around week three, it was a six week class. Around week three, I thought, I'm going to have to drop this class. I don't get it. And then something just clicked and like you said, with the formulas, as soon as I had the formulas and I got those down, it just started clicking and I started loving it and I ended up getting an A, and I was so proud of myself, just like you. It's just something that you just can't beat that feeling.
[48:11] Caitlin: Awesome.
[48:13] Michelle: Yeah.
[48:14] Caitlin: I don't put it out there for the world to see. It's an internal thing because my sister has even said to me, you're not very smart, how are you getting through this? Yeah, she's not that nice, but I'm like, you know what? That's your opinion. It's just that I'm passionate about this and everyone's got their particular bits that they're smart at and this is my thing.
[48:43] Michelle: You're so good at deflecting and really keeping those boundaries, girl. Man, like I said before, I wish you were my friend years ago. You would have taught me so much. So wow. Well, what is it going to mean to you to achieve your goal of becoming a nurse?
[49:05] Caitlin: It's just going to just satisfy that all the hard work I've put in that shows my kids how you can do everything that you put your mind to. And it's really just going to put me in a position where I'm just like, I'm done. I started something and I finished it and I did well at it. And that's just going to be my proudest moment, is that I did this, I started it and I completed it. And that's probably my biggest thing, is starting something and finishing it.
[49:40] Michelle: Well, this is going to be a proud moment for you. I hear it already in your voice, like you're almost there. And there is such a satisfaction in being able to be an example to your children, being able to have a profession where you have so much autonomy, where you have so much flexibility, where you can go anywhere, you can support yourself and your children. And as a woman, I think that's so important. And you just have that personal satisfaction of saying, yeah, I did it. I put in the work. I did it. This is mine, and I own this. And that's very powerful.
[50:30] Caitlin: Yeah. And I think, again, because I didn't like school and most people knew, they joked, did you ever attend school? I wouldn't go because I didn't like it. And I think it's just this is a bigger thing. I'll be the first child out of my two sisters that's gone to university and that will have completed university, so that's a big thing as well. And I'm known as the black sheep in my family, so for me to do it, I'm like, well, anyone can. And that's really the message, is that if you have a passion, go for it. There's nothing to stop you but you.
[51:13] Michelle: I don't think we could end on a better note than that. I think that is perfect. So thank you so much. Caitlin, you've brought so much of your own blood, sweat, and tears that you've shared with others that are going through the same journey as you or thinking about it. So thank you so much for being here today. I appreciate that.
[51:40] Caitlin: No, thank you for having me. It's been such a wonderful experience, and I just am so glad I jumped on the bandwagon to do it, because presenting is not something that I normally get to do.
[51:54] Michelle: Yes, me too. Well, you're a very well-spoken person, so I think if you ever want to speak in the future, I don't think you'll have any trouble whatsoever.
[52:05] Caitlin: Thanks, Michelle.
[52:06] Michelle: Yeah. Well, you know, at the end, we do the five-minute snippet, and this is just five minutes of kind of getting to know the off-duty side of Caitlin. And so are you ready to play the five-minute snippet?
[52:22] Caitlin: Ready.
[52:25] Michelle: It's going to be great. I hear a little bit of tentative in your voice, but you know all the answers, and you gave me a little bit of your personal side in your bio, so here goes. Favorite artist at the Tamworth Country music festival.
[52:54] Caitlin: Probably I'd say Keith Urban when he does get to come in.
[53:01] Michelle: He does?
[53:03] Caitlin: Yeah. He originally started coming here before he ever went to Nashville.
[53:08] Michelle: Wow, that would be awesome. Okay, so you said you like water polo, and then I was looking that in water polo, there are seven different positions goalkeeper, left-wing, left driver, point, right driver, right-wing, center forward. Do you have a favorite position, and why is it?
[53:33] Caitlin: A favorite position would be center forward, and that's because that's probably the most aggressive position to have, because you have to fight to keep your spot, and you're sort of like the make or break with it. You can really get an extra player out if you play it well enough, and get an advantage.
[53:58] Michelle: Really? It sounds like kind of the in volleyball, like the person that's at the net where they can spike it and all that. Is that similar?
[54:06] Caitlin: Yeah, that'd be what it is.
[54:08] Michelle: Okay. In nursing school, when you guys have to perform procedures, what is the most intimidating procedure for you?
[54:20] Caitlin: Probably wounds, and while I love them, it's just knowing exactly what the right wound coverage to put on it and learning the amount that you have available to you and picking the right one.
[54:37] Michelle: And there's several. So yeah, that is a challenge.
[54:41] Caitlin: Yeah. You have to take the skin factor into it.
[54:44] Michelle: Yes. Finish this sentence. My kids are blank.
[54:52] Caitlin: Fantastic.
[54:56] Michelle: I bet they are. I saw your Instagram pictures, and you guys look like you have a lot of fun.
[55:04] Caitlin: We try. I think sometimes I try too much because I feel bad for the time that I'm not with them.
[55:12] Michelle: Sure. They're certainly loved it's hard to be away from them, especially when they're little. Let's see the best beach you've been on.
[55:24] Caitlin: Now, look, I rate Australian beaches, but, man, when I went to Hawaii, I was in love. I was on the main island, and you can see Diamond Head. I don't know. It was just amazing. Yeah.
[55:41] Michelle: Beautiful. Okay, last question. What famous person's memoir would you love to read?
[55:54] Caitlin: I haven't read Michelle Obama's yet. It is on my list, but that's probably the most famous person I could think of same.
[56:04] Michelle: I would love to read hers.
[56:06] Caitlin: Yeah, that's it.
[56:08] Michelle: Well, Caitlin, thank you so much again. I really appreciate you being here, and I'm so glad that we met on Instagram, and you've just given us such a perspective of what it's like to be a student, and I think we can all learn from that. And you've given other students a lot of hope for the future. And I can't wait to see your graduation pictures. I will be just cheering right along with you.
[56:42] Caitlin: Thank you. And thank you so much. This has been so much fun. I just am so thankful for the opportunity.
[56:49] Michelle: It's a lot of fun for me. I've met so many wonderful people, and you're certainly one of them, so I consider myself very blessed. So have a wonderful rest of your day. Mine is starting an evening now, so yeah. Have a great day. Thank you so much. Bye.