Angela Gonzales, BSN

ALOL was created after the death of our 3rd baby, a son we named Daniel. He was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease in utero at 29 weeks. I delivered him at 32 weeks. His heart beat for three hours after and he died on June 9, 2010. Most new mothers can't wait to be discharged, but I stayed the entire time. I just couldn't bear to leave without him. Our two older children were two and four at the time and had no idea what was going on. We chose not to introduce them to baby brother, a decision I regret to this day. There are no pictures of all three of my babies together. Life was beyond rough at home for me. At my lowest, I contemplated suicide. It seemed like the only way to make the unbearable ache in my chest stop. Thankfully, something deep down told me "But what if your kids find you". At the time of Daniel's birth, I was a postpartum nurse. My coworkers showered our family with so much love and support. I will never forget it. I remember nothing about the funeral except the line of nurses who came through to hug me, tears in their eyes. One was pregnant at the same time, the unit had planned a dual baby shower for us, we were due the same week. The strength she showed that day, coming to my son's funeral, with a healthy baby in her belly, will stay with me forever. After the funeral, I had two choices. Stay in bed and slowly die or get up and do something. That's when A Legacy of Love was born. In October 2010, I started something that has proven to be the best healing medicine I never knew I needed.