Medical mission nurse and humanitarian, Paras Barnett

[00:00] Michelle: Paras Barnett was leading a robust life as a nurse. She worked at a prestigious institution, provided expert nursing care to her patients, and was a strong organizational leader and a loving wife and friend. However, despite all this, she felt like something was missing and was on the verge of burnout. So she became a Caritas coach and in the process, learned how to prioritize self care in order to be able to fill the cup of others. This single act catapulted her into humanitarian work. She is now affiliated with Jordan International Aid and travels to underdeveloped countries multiple times a year to provide medical and surgical care. These medical missions are not funded by any organization, and the medical professionals themselves bear the cost of travel, housing, and food, which can often be between $3,000 and $5000.  Paras offsets this cost by creating and selling beautiful jewelry. Her loving, generous nature brilliantly shines through in all she does. In the five-minute snippet: OMG, incredible Elephants!  Well, good morning, Paras. Welcome to the podcast.
[01:37] Paras: Good morning, Michelle. Thank you for having me.
[01:41] Michelle: Well, thank you for saying yes. When your friend and mine, Nicole Cromwell, said, you need to have Paras on your podcast, she's an amazing person. And so we reached out to each other and you said, yeah, thank you. So today we are going to talk all about what you do as a nurse and just a good human because you wear a lot of hats and you have a very full bio, so we'll get to lots of those things today. But I always really love hearing the stories of how nurses get into the profession. So why don't you just start by telling us how that came to be for you?
[02:30] Paras: Okay, so I've been in healthcare since I was 15. I originally went into dental hygiene and became a dental hygienist. My grandmother was a nurse for 35 years. She worked in Iran, and she was the head nurse, I guess we'd call her a charge nurse here for her entire hospital. And she worked with orphans. Yeah, it was like an orphanage where the nurses took care of all the babies. And so I always looked up to her and just thought of her as such an amazing human to be able to do that. And back in 2011, my husband decided to change careers from engineering to nursing. I thought I think I'm going to go do the same thing so we can have the same schedule and hang out together and travel together and decided to become a nurse in 2014. So I've been a nurse since then and absolutely love it.
[03:26] Michelle: That is such an interesting story. Again, I'm always blown away by hearing so many great nurses talk about how they got into the profession. I think the public thinks that we get into the profession for one reason, because we hear it a lot. I just really want to help people and of course, we do that, but that's not always necessarily like our primary motivation. Right?
[03:57] Paras: 100%, yeah.
[03:59] Michelle: Wow, such an interesting story. So now you're a nurse and you have worked in a lot of different fields, so talk about some of those fields that you've worked in.
[04:12] Paras: So I tend to be a little bit of an overachiever and want to learn everything and as much as I can. So I started in neurosurgical for a year, where I did night shift, and night shift at the time as a new grad was a little bit tough on me. So after a year of the neurosurgical unit, which I didn't 100% love the patient population due to a lot of confusion and combative behavior, and as a small woman, it was tough, it was a tough situation for sure, and decided to go and do the infusion clinic and an outpatient unit that was combined. And I absolutely love that because the infusion clinic reminded me of what I did as a hygienist, right? You build the relationships and you build the rapport and you see these patients over and over and so you build that trust so that you can do your job efficiently, effectively, and provide the best care because you have that tight bond. And then at the time, after a few years, Stanford moved that department outside of the hospital and so then I went into float pool. And float pool is where you go all over the hospital, different units, you try a little bit of everything and you're basically filling in for people who are calling out sick or short-staffed, any of that sort, and loved it. And the one thing I was missing was critical care experience. And so after two and a half years of that, I decided to go into emergency nursing and learn critical care, and loved that as well in our department. Very tight-knit family feel to it, where we all stand up for each other, help each other, and work together, because that's what you do in the ED, that's how you survive. And did that for a couple of years and then ended up last July taking a year off for my own health and just being present with myself and kind of honestly, I was feeling burnt out, to be totally, 100% honest, after COVID I just needed a break. I thought I just needed a six-month break, but I ended up taking a year and I'm just now feeling like myself again the last couple of months. So it was needed and I'm glad I did it. And I almost didn't, I almost pushed that back, thinking, oh, I need to take care of the nurses, I need to do this project. That's something as nurses, we always do, we're always putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. And that's something that I had to really come to terms with. Once I did take the year off and now I'm refreshed, did a lot of work on my own mental health and my own overall being. And so now I'm going to start a new field, actually, in a couple of weeks. So I'll be doing assistant nurse manager at one of our facilities down here in the Bay Area. So I'm very, very excited, looking forward to that, to be able to provide the type of care and the type of support that I always love giving. But instead of the patients, it'll be towards my staff who then trickle it down to the patients. So beyond, beyond excited about this opportunity.
[07:23] Michelle: Well, that's quite a lot. Starting out as a brand new nurse in a neurosurgical unit is amazing.
[07:31] Paras: It was Michelle yeah.
[07:34] Michelle: Wow. And night shift. Was there a time when you were like, I don't know if this was the right thing to do, night shift?
[07:42] Paras: At the time, I was like, I don't know. This night shift and the stress of neurosurgical, like I said, I think is a different beast because there is so much confusion and there are q-two pain medications needed because they just had spine surgery, and brain surgery. Right. So the amount of care that you're giving is constant, even though it was night shift. And people oh, people are half asleep at night shift. Absolutely. No.
[08:08] Michelle: And, you know, working NICU for so many years, people used to say that, too. Don't the babies just sleep all night?
[08:15] Paras: Yeah.
[08:15] Michelle: No, they and I have to say, I'm really happy to hear that you took that time off and that you advocated for your own self-care. And I think you're absolutely right. Like, as nurses, we have that built-in caretaker, and when we call in sick or we take time off, where we've got our comrades in the back of our mind going, oh, my gosh, they're going to be so busy, and I feel bad for them. And so to kind of do that and take a pause and say, you know what? I'm no good to anybody else if I'm not okay myself. And bravo for that.
[09:04] Paras: Yeah.
[09:05] Michelle: And so you're entering into a leadership position, and I see that leadership is really nothing new to you. You have chaired your Magnet Professional Growth and Development Council there at Stanford. You've been the co-chair for the Education and Informatics Council, and you are a researcher and you're published. So those are all things that scream leadership to me.
[09:34] Paras: Thank you. Yes, I've done a lot of growth in the eight years that I was at my institution, and within that, I did a lot of mini projects for the units, and I wrote articles for the staff, like a newsletter regarding self-care. Self. It's called, like Caritas.  So it's a lot of working on your inner self to be able to then provide the kind of excellent care that you want to provide to patients. Right? So it always starts. So there was a lot of teaching and education that I've done over the years, and it really was tough to actually take the break, like you said, to take care of myself. But then once you bounce back, then you can, bam, provide all that love and care just like you did previously.
[10:24] Michelle: Yeah, well, let's talk about that. So you mentioned the Caritas. So that's the Jean Watson Theory of Caring. And when I saw that, I remembered that in my institution, gosh, 30 years ago, we as an institution adopted Jean Watson's Theory of Caring. And so that was something that I was familiar with. So talk about this study that you guys did with the COVID-19 and Organizational Theory Guided Holistic Self Caring and Resilience Project. And that was published in the Journal of the American Holistic Nurses Association. And you've done some podium presentations on that and I was totally nerding out reading that article because I love reading research. It's just fascinating to me. But talk about that and what you did for the nurses and other medical professionals in your organization.
[11:29] Paras: Yes, thank you. So during COVID, it was such a stressful time for everyone but nurses in general, as we didn't know what was happening, what the repercussions of COVID would be, how to protect ourselves. There were just so many unknowns and I was noticing this shift in staff's mental and physical and just overall well-being where there was a lot of fear and there was a lot of hush hush like whispers. And so it's interesting, sometimes things come to me in a dream, but I woke up one morning thinking, I want to do something and make these essential rollers and I want to do some what I called Caritas rounds is what I called it. Meaning if I can go around and talk to staff and just provide a little bit of sense of mindfulness, affirmations, peace, that kind of stuff. So I spoke to my manager, and it kind of escalated to the director, to our chief nursing officer, and they said yes. So I was able to then ask for support from my husband and staff members to help create these essential oil rollers, which essentially what I did is a base of coconut oil and put essential oils that are antiviral, antibacterial, antimicrobial, antifungal properties in them, so that it gives you a sense of, here's a little something. It smells great. And here's how I want you to use it. So then I would make rounds on units because at the time I was one of the only bedside Caritas coaches at my institution. The other two were unable to make these rounds at the time because they were in their own units doing stuff. So I was given the go-ahead. So to go around each unit I think I saw about 200 staff members a day, whether it was nurses, staff members, and I logged everything. My premise was I'd go and I'd talk to each person. Sometimes it'd be groups of like two, three or more often it was just one or two people. And I just sit there and give them this essential oil with a little affirmation card, and I talk about it. This is how I want you to use it. You can use it in your mask. You can use it on your wrist. I want you to take a nice deep breath, three or four breaths, and as you're doing that, clear that mind. Think of being outside, walking, hiking, and out in nature. And I want you to say any affirmation that comes to you. I am healthy, I love my life. Thank you, universe, for this amazing job. Thank you that I have a job. Just whatever comes to your mind. And I had an affirmation written down on this card, I am love. Or just so many different kinds so I can give them out and they'd all be different, but that's basically the premise of it. And as I made my rounds, I actually noticed people, oh, calming down and feeling a little bit better. And then the next time I make rounds and they would see me, they're like, I'm using it, it's in my pocket. Months later, as a float pool nurse, I would go to these units still. Right? Because, oh, you're the essential oil girl. I am. And they would tell me the difference that it's made. It's at my bedside. I use it with my family. Do you have another one? Can I have one? So I saw a huge difference, and I actually had several people tell me, like, your positivity really helped me change my mindset. So I work on this and I'm working on that. It was really a cool thing to see. The shift and also just even if I could touch one person's, life, to me, was already a huge step and leap and bound beyond what I could imagine. And so then I was able to do that with outpatients, so did that with other clinics and then several clinics outside of my own institution and so on and so forth. Yeah. And then with the help of my mentor at the time, Jeanette Moreno she's an amazing woman, Jean Watson, my husband, Liz Borgetta. Then, you know, we wrote an article and got it published. It was incredible. I mean, to have Jean Watson as a co-author, to read it, evaluate it was just like a dream for yeah.
[15:47] Michelle: So, you know, as you were recounting that, I was wondering what were some of the nurses talking about in terms of their worries or their fears?
[16:01] Paras: Yeah, a lot of their worries were not even directed really towards themselves as much as their family. I don't know what I'm taking home. I take care of my parents. My parents are elderly. I strip down in my garage. I strip down outside. I'm afraid to go outside. A lot of it was just fear based on really what I say is the unknown, just because enough about anything. And then at that point, you freeze. Right? They call it the freeze state, where your body you're unable to allow energy to flow through your body, and that's where you store the tension and the freeze response, which can manifest into neck ache, backache, and so on and so forth, and fill in the rest of the diseases that can occur. It always starts with this tiny little fear or whatever it may be. So that was my whole point, was to try to bring them back to today, right here, present moment, right now, so that when you smell this even a little bit in your mask, as you breathe in and breathe out, you can be like, I am safe. I am. Right?
[17:12] Michelle: Yeah. It really forces you to be in the moment, right?
[17:17] Paras: Yeah, exactly.
[17:19] Michelle: I felt that going through COVID. I worked full-time time two years when COVID was really active in our institution, and I worked in the NICU. And thankfully, none of our babies ever contracted COVID. We had several moms who were really sick. We had several moms who passed away from COVID-19 and had to deliver extremely prematurely. Caring for those families was obviously very difficult. The moral distress that nurses and other healthcare professionals suffered during that time was really profound. And when I would get anxious, it usually came at night when I was lying down to sleep. I was like, I don't know what's going to happen. Same thing. It's like my dad had died a couple of months before COVID My mom was alone. She's elderly. We're all medical professionals caring for her. We didn't know what was going to happen. And in those periods of anxiety, you're absolutely right. Like, you are just in this frozen state. You're not breathing. You're not breathing normally. This prayer came to my mind, which to this day, has been very comforting and it was just really short. And it said, Lord, surround me with your love and protection, keep me free from harm, and bring me peace.
[18:54] Paras: 100%. I love it. Michelle.
[18:56] Michelle: Yeah. I don't know where it came from. Paras. Honestly, it was divine intervention, for sure. Yeah. And to this day, when I get anxious about something, that prayer just enters and I immediately feel calm and safe.
[19:13] Paras: I love it. I'm going to send you a message and have you send that to me, because that would have been such a great mantra to have my coworkers to teach them and have it on a card. Oh, my God. Brilliant.
[19:25] Michelle: Exactly. Yeah. Well, I love that. I love that you did that. And I love that you got to work with Jean Watson.
[19:33] Paras: Gosh, I love her.
[19:34] Michelle: And so I saw that you are a Caritas coach. And so how did you get interested in that and talk about the process of that?
[19:42] Paras: Oh, Michelle, this is the greatest story. So within the first year that I was a nurse, let's see, 15 yeah, I think a year or two into my nursing career, I joined our shared governance and in one of our meetings, because I didn't know who she was at the time, I'd never heard of her. And our institution also adapted her theory into the culture. And so here she was front and center and I'm somewhere in the middle, and she's talking about how she talks, which is, I don't know if you've heard her speak, but she's very esoteric and just very grounded and just brilliant. And I do understand that oftentimes she can go over some people's heads if they're not ready right to receive. But I've been working on self-care stuff and self-help stuff and myself since my twenties. And here I was in this room and I literally thought, she is speaking directly to me and only like I look around like, no, she is talking to me. I could feel it. At that moment I knew, I'm going to become a Caritas coach and learn as much as I can. So she has this one-month free mini Caritas class that she puts on. Not her, but like her team. And that is a brilliant way of just dabbling in it. But I just went all feet in and I took her six-month course, which is a six-month at the time. It's an online program, virtually, but you do go in the beginning of the program and at the end of the program for the celebration of graduation in person. And it's like a transformative journey and it's all about you, so you get what you put into it. And I absolutely found it fascinating. During this time, I started writing poetry, which I had never done previously. I became super creative, leaps and bounds and just really knowing the true essence of my inner self and my inner core of who I am and how I want to present myself to the world and to humanity. And I think that is what triggered me to do my humanitarian work. That was one of the key factors is that it wasn't enough just to go to work and do the best I can and give the love and care and support that I give to my patients, come home, love my husband, and be the best I can be with him and my family and friends. It started with me and then it would trickle down to everything else. And this coaching program kind of really solidified that for me.
[22:17] Michelle: That's a beautiful way of explaining it. It's like you realized there's a community out there and a global community that needs this care and love. And I'm the vessel, I'm the one that's going to provide this.
[22:37] Paras: Absolutely, Michelle absolutely. I highly recommend anyone who's a nurse to even dabble in that free course. And just to kind of sometimes when you feel lost, when you feel like, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, you're just like doing the routine motion of going to work, coming home, taking care of family, going to work, blah, blah, is to just take a look at yourself. It's so hard, but it's so rewarding and so healing. So healing. So many tears, so much love, so much joy. It was an incredible journey. I loved it. I loved it.
[23:12] Michelle: Yeah. Well, I imagine that you learned a lot of principles of care in becoming a coach. Were you able to use any of those with your patients?
[23:23] Paras: Oh, you do on a daily basis. Michelle, I even guarantee, you know, every one of us, we just don't have language to put towards what we actually do as nurses. Right.? A lot of times you ask, oh, you're a nurse, what do you do? Oh, I care for my patients. I bring the medication. No, we go above and beyond that. The first thing we do is connect with a soul, with a human being that's in front of us suffering, right? That connection is already huge, and we don't even count that as something that we do because it's not in the language that we can utilize, right? Most of us nurses don't have, like I said, the language, which beautifully is given to us by Jean Watson, so some of her books are incredibly intuitive and others are a little bit up there for me. But the one that I did read, I can't remember which one it was, but talks about all of this, giving language to what we do as nurses.
[24:24] Michelle: It's so hard to define, right? When people in the community, like you said, they find out you're a nurse, oh, what do you do? I think we just default to this, oh, I take care of premature and sick babies, or I take care of people that have had neurological injuries, but man, that just encompasses so much more, right?
[24:50] Paras: Yeah.
[24:51] Michelle: And we don't know, as you said, we really don't know how to put it into words.
[24:56] Paras: Yeah. Jean Watson eloquently does this in the 10 Beautiful Processes.
[25:03] Michelle: So you talked about becoming a Caritas coach, which really motivated you to become a humanitarian, and one of the things that you do is you go on medical missions and so talk about that. Like, where do you go and what are these missions for? What is your purpose there?
[25:29] Paras: So I've been doing medical and surgical missions, and they're different, right? So started probably six, or seven years ago. One of my dearest friends, dearest friends, Malia, also had been doing them for many years, and I've always wanted to, but I didn't know how to start and how to go about it. And the first one I did was in Cambodia. I did an amazing medical mission with Cambodia, to Cambodia with this organization called JIA,  Jordan International Aid. Amazing small organization. Very well organized, excellent job, safe. Like, I can't say enough about it. And that's how I really started my journey and absolutely fell in love with the care that you give to these people who only receive care when you're there. And the joy and the appreciation and the gratitude that they get from whatever means you can give them is beyond anything that I can actually express to anyone unless you are there to feel it. It's so hard to explain. You're like, oh, people are so appreciative. It's not the same, especially when you work in an institution where people are yelling at you because you didn't get their Dilaudid to them fast enough. They're upset because they didn't get their hamburger because it didn't have on it or it was cold, right? And you go to places where the kids are playing with shoes and are happy. The kids are running around with lice in their hair, and they are just happy to be alive, right? They don't have as much as we have, and yet they shine more than I've ever so that just kind of sparked this thing inside. Then, you know, from there, I did a few more medical did, you know, Philippines, and then again the Philippines, and then back to Cambodia. And then I did a surgical mission this past January in Kenya with my friend's dad, who's a retired surgeon, and her and my husband and another friend. And what we do in surgical missions, this is, to me, absolutely life-changing because we are doing surgeries that are otherwise they're unable to get these types of surgeries. So basically, you're going to an area where they have one hospital, maybe two hospitals. They have maybe one or working, maybe not. They have one surgeon in the area. There are just limited resources for, like, two or three weeks. Bam. We do free surgeries, and they do screening for us where they screen the patients, and we do hernias, mastectomy for cancer removal, and testicular cancer removal. We did lipomas that are the size of, like, seven kilograms on someone's shoulder oh, my gosh. They are huge on the neck, like the size of a watermelon. I mean, some of the things that you see that we take for granted here, hernias, hernias in other countries here, we take care of them so quickly, right? As soon as you feel it pop out, you go to the doctor. Boom, boom. They take care of it over there because it's not an emergency. It gets pushed back because there are other emergencies for that one or that's still working. And so they go years, like ten years without being able to be taken care of. And so by the time we get there, we are pulling intestines out of that are down to the knees. We're taking five liters out of the scrotum because there's a hydrocele that's gotten so big that the patient can't even urinate anymore. They can't even leave the house because they're carrying five liters of fluid in their lower half and trying to walk and carry on with their life. So this is the type of work that just really has sparked this fire in my heart. And then we see our patients post-op, always the day after. The doctor loves that. And so we go and we say hi and just check in on them. And the smile, the gleaming, the gratitude. Can I buy you tea? Can I bring you lunch? It's just beyond anything that I have ever seen. And then I go in and ask these amazing patients, how's your pain, right? I mean, with the broken English that we have, and with a little bit of Swahili that I know that I'm learning, and I say like, do you have pain? And they say, oh, it's a little bit. I said, did you take Tylenol? And they'll say, no, it's okay, I don't need it. And I'm like, Are you kidding? So then you bring that back to our country and I just go like, wow. It's such a difference in mentality with patients who need surgery can't get it and are so thankful for getting it. And then the opposite of what we find here, where we go, we complain, and we're always like, it's not good enough. And so I just love that aspect of the missions, which is the unfaltering gratitude for what we do. And then that just trickles to the core of my being. And then I literally people have told me, god, you're just beaming. Why are you always so happy? Why am I happy? I'm happy because look what we're providing. Look what we're doing for humanity.
[30:40] Michelle: Yeah, I can feel your energy, like, coming through the mic right now. It's amazing. And if I could see you, I bet your face would just be lit up 100%.
[30:53] Paras: I am literally smiling any bigger and doing that touch, like touching them on their arm and just being like, you're going to be okay. I'm here with you, right? And just staying with the patients as they're having this surgery because we don't knock them out, right? Spinal, spinal. So that we can just do what we need to do on the bottom half. And so just giving them the love and making sure they're okay and then afterward and then man life-changing. Life-changing, Michelle. That's all I can say. It's brilliant.
[31:29] Michelle: You said it, my late brother, Joe was a surgical nurse, and he went on several missions with the doctors of like, he said that he couldn't put it into words. He just said it's life-changing. He said exactly that, just the appreciation and the love that you get from the people who have stood in line when they heard the doctors were coming. And they stood in line for three days, and hundreds of people came from communities all over. The hardest part for him was knowing that they couldn't care for that many people and that some people were going to be left behind was just like his motivation to go again the next time.
[32:25] Paras: Yeah.
[32:26] Michelle: Life changing. Wow.
[32:28] Paras: We went in January and saw 89 and did 89 procedures. This time we did 129 procedures. Yeah. We're working on a name for this organization so that we can make this an organization with tax-deductible, write-offs and that kind of stuff, and get donations. We don't have a name yet, but our plan is our goal is to go twice a year, so around February, March, and September. And beauty is I spoke to my new job, my manager, and I told him, I said, this is something that is my self-care. Right. This is my mental health and well-being. And they were gung ho. They said, no problem, we will work around it. We'll figure it out. Because this is how important it is for me to maintain and be able to do this type of work because it's not just for the patients, right? It's also for me. I get out of it. And you know what I was thinking, Michelle? I've thought about this for a long time. I would find it just fascinating if nursing schools allowed a week of mandatory work outside of the US where they go and they volunteer and do this type of work. I think when they come back and work at an institution and have as much as we have and get as much as we know whether it's benefits this, that, and the other, it would really change people's perspective on our care here.
[33:56] Michelle: Yesterday, actually, I had an interview with a pediatric nurse scientist, and her episode will be coming up, but she had that opportunity. She has cared for kids in China, Botswana, Nicaragua. And I asked her, how were you able to do that? One of them was, she went to the University of Pennsylvania, and it was her undergrad nursing program. They went to China for two weeks.
[34:25] Paras: See what I mean, Michelle?
[34:26] Michelle: Yes.
[34:27] Paras: Then look, she's still doing it. She's still doing it, that's how we save humanity.
[34:31] Michelle: This is how you do it. Yeah.
[34:33] Paras: This is how we can give.
[34:36] Michelle: Yeah. So interesting. I didn't know that that was part of any curriculum in nursing schools anywhere. But it's a great idea.
[34:46] Paras: Yeah.
[34:46] Michelle: So you mentioned that you speak a little bit of Swahili. Do you know any other languages of the countries that you have visited?
[34:55] Paras: I don't. I do speak fluent Farsi because I am of Iranian descent. But Swahili and I use that very literally. It's just words of Do you have pain? Just basic. Basic. But going to learn more and more basic Spanish, that type of stuff.
[35:15] Michelle: Well, talk about the camaraderie of just the teamwork, of your surgical teams. Your medical teams, you're there with other nurses, and other medical professionals in a foreign country, and just talk about how close-knit you guys are.
[35:33] Paras: Well, this one surgical one, in particular, we're very close-knit. It's me and my husband. It's one of my best friends, her dad, and then another really close friend. So the five of us. And that's really when it boils down to a surgical mission of this caliber, you don't really need more than that because there are only two ORs to work out of. And really just one doctor, really, does that make sense? So you can't really have ten people, 20 people coming. But the camaraderie, we have to stick together. Okay, I'm going to scrub in on this one. You go rest and sit down. Okay. You make sure that the food is ready for the doctor when he comes out so we can give him his lunch and he eats. So you really have to work together to make things smooth. Last September, during the three weeks that we were in Kenya, the doctor and I were there for two weeks by ourselves. And it was also great. Like, I just made sure, boom, boom, things are falling into place. We're on schedule for this, that, and the other. And he and I worked really great together. He's an amazing human, with a heart of gold, loves to teach, and he's brilliant. He is absolutely brilliant. Just the finesse of his hands are just beautiful. But going to the medical missions need to be very well organized. And going with an organization that has already done this a few times, I think is key because then they have ironed out the majority of their little kinks. And so, again, you have to work well together, play nice, all that stuff. But I'm assuming that people who go on these types of missions are like-minded individuals. And so, so far, I have had no issues. No, wow, that person isn't helping. That person isn't doing enough. Or this person is or this person is doing too much. Everybody kind of is very flexible because you need to be, because you never know what kind of a situation you're going to be in and what's going to come your way and just be very kind and loving and understanding to one another. And so we've had, knock on wood, zero issues. I've never had anything that I can even say was a hiccup. The only thing I do want to say is that organizationally, that's important is that the mission runs in an organized fashion.
[37:48] Michelle: I would think that would have to be really important.
[37:51] Paras: Yeah.
[37:51] Michelle: And when you're working in these ORs and with these teams, are you working with doctors and nurses from that country that work in that hospital?
[38:03] Paras: So particularly in Kenya, which is the only place I've done surgical missions, and it's the only place I will continue to do surgical missions. We do. We have the hospital. Kunundo Kuwitu Hospital in Diani, Kenya. They help us with the staffing. So we do have a surgeon that comes who also helps for a few days of it to help us manage some of the patients and kind of see them so we can do more surgeries. And then we have an OR nurse, one OR nurse that comes to help. And then we have the person who cleans, and then we have an amazing head nurse who's there. Yeah. So they provide a few people for us. Could we do without them? Maybe, but probably not. We really require their assistance because we don't know every aspect of the area of the or. We do as much as we can, and we can learn, but we would have to be taught like sterilization. What do you do? Because it's different than what we do in the US.
[39:05] Michelle: Right. Was there ever a time or a region where you felt unsafe?
[39:11] Paras: Not at all. Not where we are in this particular region, which is a coastal region community by Mombasa. It's a little town called Diani. And no, not at all. Even the beach you walk around, everyone's so pleasant and kind, and they know when you say, oh, we're working at the hospital, they're like, oh, you're here. Yeah, I've heard about that. It's interesting. We've only been there twice, right? January and September, and people already know and they hear about it. They advertise it on the radio. So yeah, it's amazing. So the community is getting bigger and bigger. People are coming from hours away versus just like, the next town over.
[39:52] Michelle: Yeah, word is getting out. And then where does your team stay when you're in these countries? Are you in a hotel or what kind of housing do you have?
[40:02] Paras: Depends. A lot of organizations do all that for you in the you know, we have the Airbnb and or we have a hotel or whatever. Usually, it's a hotel. This last time we stayed in an Airbnb where we could all just have our own rooms, depending on where you stay. But yeah, it's either a hotel that includes meals or something, or we go to an, you know, and you got to be flexible because you never know what you're going to get. You might get a place with cockroaches. You might get a place that's super clean. You don't know. And so that's a part that comes with the territory of being in a foreign country and undeveloped, right?  You're not in the US. Anymore.
[40:47] Michelle: Does your team ever see pediatric patients?
[40:51] Paras: We do. We actually did see this year last January. January, we saw like, a five-year-old and a six or seven-year-old for hernia repair, which was awesome. Super cute little kids in my medical missions. Absolutely. We see infants and up. So we would have pediatricians there. We would have gynecology there. We would have geriatric and regular internists.
[41:16] Michelle: They're really well-rounded.
[41:18] Paras: Yeah. Our surgeries that we do is he's a general surgeon, so he can pretty much do anything. And you know what's brilliant is he's also, as he's doing surgeries, like at night, he'll come and be like, I'm just going to look through this book just to kind of like it's so amazing. This man, he's still wanting to continue learning even though he already knows how. He just, I'm going to just look and see if there's anything else just in case it pops up. Someone comes in and says, hey, I have this problem and now I have to do an,  I'm just throwing something out there, gastro resection or something. Like he just wants to remember and be prepared for anything and everything. I just love that about him. He inspires me so much.
[42:00] Michelle: Yeah, that's a mark of a real leader, right?
[42:03] Paras: Yes. Because you lead by example. So what do we do? I'm like practicing this, practicing that.
[42:11] Michelle: Well, I would imagine that these medical and surgical missions are completely free of charge to the nurses and the doctors that go on them. Right.
[42:23] Paras: What do you mean?
[42:25] Michelle: You don't have to pay anything. right?
[42:29] Paras: Okay, I was wondering about that.
[42:30] Michelle: Yeah, I'm being facetious. You said that people have this misconception.
[42:39] Paras: That's true, yes, they do.
[42:40] Michelle: What do you want people to know about these missions and how they're funded?
[42:44] Paras: Yeah, so what I do actually is I love to create, so I make jewelry and my jewelry helps fund supplies and some of the costs. But yeah, people think that when you go on a medical mission the organization is just going to be like, oh yeah, we'd love for you to come and work for free for a week and we're going to pay for your room and board and your stay and your airfare and all of the good stuff. Absolutely not. They tell you how much it's going to cost and it depends on where you're going and how many days you're staying. It can be $3000 and up. Usually, it's closer to $5000, depending on where you're going and how many weeks you're staying. Yeah. So that comes out of your pocket. Plus you're using your own personal time off, right? So you're using so you're not going on other vacations. So my husband and I, it's interesting, most of our vacations, quote, unquote, I'm putting air marks in there. Medical missions and surgical missions. And then we do mini vacations for ourselves. And sometimes we'll tag along a little like, okay, we're going to be there for two weeks. Let's tag along for three days and just chill and relax. So we try to do that and that's how it is. So a lot of people do fundraising, whether it's through in January. So I have five chickens and my best friend Emily, also has chickens and her mom has chickens. So we were selling our chicken, our eggs at work. So we wash them. They're beautiful. Colors, right? They're green, brown and like blue and all these pretty colors. And we were selling them, and we told people we're like, we're selling them for $20 for a dozen. But all the money is going towards this mission and paying for supplies and paying for things. And sure enough, we did good. We sold all of our eggs, which was awesome. And then we sometimes make jams or whatnot. And then, if I ever sell things at my house, let's say I'm getting rid of a bedroom set. That money, I've always put it towards the medical missions because I'm like that's money. That's just extra that I think I would have. So I just put that towards medical mission care. My parents, God bless them as well, they sold a bunch of things online, like furniture, and random stuff. And they gave me, like, here's $500 towards the missions. And then my friend Emily's parents, same thing. They're always doing random things. And here's some money for the mission. It's really a community thing. Half the time I'll put things on Next Door and I will ask for support. And you have no idea, Michelle, the outpour of love that I get doing making these goodie bags for our homeless population in San Jose, and I made about 100 bags. And a lot of donations came from just people saying, I have so many soaps and toothbrushes and things that I've collected over the years, and I would love to give that to you so you can put it in packages. I got someone who literally doesn't know me from Adam and sent me a check for $75 so I can buy supplies for the homeless population. I was baffled at the trust of this one person who said, this is what I want to do. I've had people drop off school supplies when I say, hey, I'm going to be doing things for schools, and boom, they drop off bags of school supplies. I've had the community, oh, luggage. I was like, I need luggage because we're going to pack them with things and take them to the Philippines. I got people brand new luggage, used luggage here. Yeah. So honestly, the outpouring of people in this community, in this area wanting to help is huge. Sometimes we just don't know how to go about it, right?
[46:23] Michelle: Yeah. And maybe the word skinning out. I think more and more people in this country are realizing how rich we are in so many ways in our lives and how convenient things are for us. And there's enough press out there on what people in other countries are experiencing, and I think it's awesome that they just want to help.
[46:50] Paras: Yeah. You know what's funny is I was about to do right before you and I started, I was writing a post on Next Door that I just started. Basically, my premise is what I need is donated old iPads or laptops. You know, that many of us, me included. I have an extra one sitting there that I have not used in years, but it just sits in your drawer. And what I need to do with these is I need to take them back to Africa because the head nurse doesn't have a laptop to even be able to type notes or anything like that. Oh, there's this lady that I met who is head of an organization for sex workers who are trying to get out of sex workers who are these young women have sometimes been abused physically, mentally, and sexually, and are trying to get out and get their life together. But now they have children and how are they going to make ends meet? Blah, blah, blah. So we're trying to get donations of condoms, donations of laptops, anything of that sort. So that was my posting that I was about to do before you and I got on, to see the outpour of community. And I already know in my heart that there is going to be, if not one, but multiple items that I can take back and actually give this love back to.
[48:06] Michelle: One of the things that you said that just really resonated with me. You said my jewelry is a way of allowing the energy of money and kindness from those who can't physically go on missions to still be able to support those who can.
[48:23] Paras: Yeah.
[48:24] Michelle: Yeah. And I want to know, what do you feel as you are creating with your jewelry? What does that do for you?
[48:37] Paras: Oh, my gosh, Michelle. So this is a whole nother thing as I make my jewelry. First of all, have you ever heard of the flow? You know, when we are so into what we're doing in that know, you're cooking, you're creating art, you're in the garden, you're taking care of your child, whatever it is you're doing. And when you're in that state and you can just allow your body to be there, that is called the flow state. And that's where I'm at when I do my jewelry. While I'm doing my jewelry, I usually pray and do affirmations for love, for humanity, for kindness, and mainly for peace in this world because this world has become more interesting. And I just pray that we get to a place where we can all be helping each other and wanting people to grow. And this is just my way of doing the little part that I can so create with my hands, sell what I can, and know that everything is an energy exchange and that this energy exchange of money through this beautiful art, you're getting a piece of art that you get to wear that has loving, intentionality in it. You get to give me this money. And this money can go towards providing services for people who otherwise can't do it themselves, right? That's kind of my premise behind it.
[50:01] Michelle: Yeah. And I love that you talked about money as energy, because we could talk for hours about people's beliefs about money. And to see it like that, it's an energy, and I just love that. And I just imagine as you're making your jewelry and your art and you're in that flow state, the amount of love that's coming through to your jewelry.
[50:36] Paras: Yes. I listen to my meditation music. I go into this Zen place and just hours go by like boom. I'm like, oh, my back. I need to get up. I need to move. What's happening? Because you're in it. You're in that zone. It's beautiful.
[50:53] Michelle: Okay, well, what I have to know is you have so many causes that you care for and have you experienced compassion fatigue? You talked in the beginning about kind of feeling burnt out and needing to restore some of your energy through self-care. Who coaches you? Who coaches the coach, right?
[51:21] Paras: Yeah, 100%. I have to say I have an amazing support system with friends, deep, loving friends, but my number one cheerleader and I would say coach when I'm not feeling good is my best friend from high school. She and I have known each other since we were 15 so majority of my adult life. And her name is Kelly, and she is just honestly, she is my coach. And it's interesting because when she was going through her coaching program, Kelly McCarthy, god, I love her. Back in the day, I was one of her like, can I practice on you? And what do you, she knows me so well. But she can put on this hat where she takes off the best friend hat, and she is there with me as a coach, and we are so in tune and we work so well together. And so anytime I was in distress she would help me, guide me to come up with my own answers and guidance, if that makes sense. So telling me what to do as a friend where you can oh, let me give you advice. It wasn't like that. It's basically I would come up with, oh, this is what's happening to me. Oh, boom. Like a big flash of a light bulb going off. And so I would say she is my main squeeze. I love that woman. Yeah.
[52:49] Michelle: Wow. Everyone needs a Kelly in their life. Absolutely.
[52:53] Paras: You would be.
[52:56] Michelle: The best therapists or coaches are the ones who can exactly, like you said, they don't just tell you what to do. They facilitate you in figuring out what the answer is.
[53:10] Paras: Yes. Because it's within you. You already know it.
[53:13] Michelle: Right.
[53:13] Paras: And I do have to say this, compassion fatigue, it was no joke. I really did start to feel it about 2022. Right. And in May 2022, it was starting to hit me because I had done all these projects this, that, and the other. And I'm always a busybody, always more than willing to help with projects or start a project or May. I went to a Caritas conference with Jean Watson, and at that time, Michelle, I kid you not, there was a lot of tears during this conference. And at one point in time, I'm watching her dance. It was Jean Watson on the dance floor at our dinner, and I had this thought that said, you need to take care of yourself. You are not taking care of yourself. I heard it, and instantly my thought said, oh, but you have this amazing project that you just got a grant for, for the emergency department, and it's going to help so many nurses. It's going to be so good for them. Why don't you wait, maybe take your leave in January? And this was in May, and all of a sudden, I had to snap out of it, and I heard this voice that said, no, you need to take care of yourself now. I heard it. It's such a weird thing to talk about. I left the dance floor, went outside, sat on a chair, and cried for 20 minutes because I knew at that moment that the decision was made. I had to stop working. I had to take care of myself. And I did go to an intensive outpatient program for a month. I don't know. I'm sure you're aware of that, but I mean, aware of what that is. It was recommended, and I did do that, and it was the best thing I did for myself.
[54:57] Michelle: Well, we could learn a lot from you, who has just taken the reins for their own care.
[55:05] Paras: Absolutely.
[55:08] Michelle: And as you were talking about May of 2022, so I retired in January of 2022, and I still feel to this day that maybe I retired a little prematurely because I was kind of burnt. And I justify it to myself by saying, but you worked 40 years. It's okay if you want to retire. But I still feel like frequently that I want to go back. I want to be there again, so I fight with that.
[55:42] Paras: With nursing, if you choose to do one day a week just to dabble in it, you can do that type of thing. That's the beauty of nursing. So many options for you. But 40, I give you my heart and soul, because that is like my grandma. 35 years she worked, and that's no joke. To give from your heart and soul for that many years is just so beautiful.
[56:09] Michelle: And so thank you. Yeah, it's my whole adult life, 100%. Well, Paras, I have really loved talking to you today. I need to know, and my listeners will need to know, how do we find you, how can we find your jewelry, and how can we donate to your mission?
[56:29] Paras: So until we get a name for our organization, at this point, it would be finding me through my website and or Instagram. Those are the two things that I have or my email. I don't have a Facebook account, so it's Peace of Paras, and Peace is like the peace sign, but it's like a double because you're also getting a piece of Paras when you buy, you know what I'm saying? So peaceofparas.com. And then I also know Peace of Paras is on my Instagram, where you can see a bunch of my jewelry. I'm working on my site, so it's not fully complete yet, but that's how you can get a hold of me. And donation can come in many different ways so we can discuss and figure out what kind of ways you're able to support this humanitarian work.
[57:20] Michelle: Well, that's great. And I will put all those links in the show notes so that people can find you. And I did check out your Instagram. It's fabulous. Your jewelry is beautiful, and I can see the love that you put into it. And I just wish all the best for you. I just think you're doing amazing things, and you're definitely really serving your, you know, local and globally. So thank you for that.
[57:51] Paras: Appreciate it. Thank you so much, Michelle. Honestly, this was a pleasure. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. And I'm smiling from ear to ear.
[57:59] Michelle: I can see that.
[58:01] Paras: And you just sound so amazing and kind, and doing this type of work, spreading all this stuff for others to hear and learn is incredible. So more power to you, and I wish you all the best.
[58:12] Michelle: Thank you, Paras. I appreciate that a lot. Well, I warned you. I told you at the end we do the five-minute snippet, which is just five minutes of fun.
[58:23] Paras: It sounds good.
[58:24] Michelle: Everybody can kind of see your off-duty side when you're not being a medical mission nurse and an advocate and an artist. So are you ready to play?
[58:36] Paras: I'm ready. Let's do it.
[58:42] Michelle: Would you rather spend the day playing in an overgrown meadow or a treehouse?
[58:47] Paras: Overgrown meadow.
[58:50] Michelle: Meadow, yeah. Would you rather spend a night in an igloo wearing only your bathing suit, or in the middle of a forest during a thunderstorm?
[59:01] Paras: Forest! Thunderstorm!
[59:03] Michelle: That's what I thought you were going to say. I was like, she's a free spirit. She probably causes thunder and lightning wherever she goes, and she needs to be in that thunderstorm. Let's see. Would you rather develop a vaccine that prevents people from itching or stops people from feeling cold?
[59:24] Paras: The cold the tip of my fingers go numb sometimes with, so I'll take that one.
[59:33] Michelle: I imagine you being, like, a warm-weather person.
[59:36] Paras: Yes, I am.
[59:38] Michelle: Yeah. Okay. Would you rather spend an hour floating around in space or swimming in the depths of the ocean?
[59:47] Paras: Swimming in the depths of the ocean.
[59:50] Michelle: Are you a water sign?
[59:52] Paras: I'm actually not, but I do scuba dive, and I love the ocean.
[59:57] Michelle: Yeah. Love it. I love the water too, and I'm a fire sign, so maybe the water kind of stabilizes my personality or something. Okay. Would you rather dance in a flash mob or sing with an acapella group?
[01:00:16] Paras: Dance.
[01:00:17] Michelle: You're a dancer.
[01:00:19] Paras: Love to dance.
[01:00:21] Michelle: Okay. Would you rather jump into a pool filled with paint or a huge pile of glitter?
[01:00:29] Paras: Glitter!
[01:00:32] Michelle: I was thinking about this one, and I was like, I definitely don't want the glitter. I'm a crafter, and so I've used glitter in my craft room, like, years ago. I'm still finding it. Still finding glitter everywhere.
[01:00:47] Paras: Yeah.
[01:00:48] Michelle: Would you rather discover a way to prevent glaciers from melting or earthquakes from happening?
[01:00:56] Paras: Maybe glaciers.
[01:00:58] Michelle: Yeah, we need to save it, right?
[01:01:01] Paras: Yeah, we do. For all of our animals.
[01:01:04] Michelle: Would you rather go on an African safari or visit an elephant sanctuary in Thailand?
[01:01:11] Paras: Okay, I'm going to say safari, but I've done both. But the sanctuary was in Kenya, and it was a, you know, elephant orphanage. OMG. That's all I'm going to say, everybody. Really? It's incredible, the work.
[01:01:26] Michelle: Did you get down in the mud with them?
[01:01:32] Paras: They have their keeper who takes them everywhere. Yeah. It's amazing.
[01:01:38] Michelle: Sounds beautiful. Would you rather go snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef or rock climbing in Yosemite National Park?
[01:01:49] Paras: Oh, let's see. I'm going to say rock climbing because I've done the reef and it's beautiful, but rock climbing in Yosemite. Oh, I've rock climbed, but not in Yosemite. Whoo. That'd be beautiful.
[01:01:58] Michelle: Beautiful.
[01:01:59] Paras: Yeah.
[01:02:00] Michelle: Okay, last question. Would you rather raise a baby bunny that has been separated from its mother or nurse a bird with a hurt wing back to health?
[01:02:12] Paras: Oh, God.
[01:02:14] Michelle: It's a hard decision. I want both, right?
[01:02:18] Paras: Oh, yeah, that would be a hard choice. I would have to beg you to take both of them.
[01:02:25] Michelle: My daughter has nursed many birds back to health, and people know about her now, and so we actually get texts and people showing up at our door. Like, I found this bird. Yeah. She's like a little bird rehabber.
[01:02:41] Paras: I love that.
[01:02:42] Michelle: Yeah.
[01:02:42] Paras: Oh, my gosh. It makes me happy.
[01:02:44] Michelle: Well, you've made me so happy today. I just so appreciate you coming on and sharing your life and your loves with my audience and with you.
[01:02:56] Paras: Thank you.
[01:02:56] Michelle: Thank you so much. Paras.
[01:02:58] Paras: Thank you. I appreciate it. It was a pleasure.
[01:03:00] Michelle: Yes. And just have a great rest of your day.
[01:03:04] Paras: You too.
[01:03:05] Michelle: Thanks, Michelle.